Pole Dancing Bar
Women Who Enjoy Sexual Pleasure As Much As Men Do
Naturally, some women insist that they are just as sexually driven as men. Even today when pornography dominates 90% of the internet, women remain incredibly naive about men’s passion for sex. Men don’t just enjoy sex; they obsess about it.
One woman suggested: “The basics are this: men like sex and will give affection to get it. Women like affection, and get it during sex. It works out well for both. I believe women enjoy sex as much as men do.”
Perhaps I should be more specific and say (when I am talking about enjoying sex) that I am talking about an orgasm. That’s not to say, of course, that sex is not enjoyable without an orgasm, but that such a definition is more likely to appeal to women than it is to men. Women who enjoy female masturbation also hope for more than affection from sex.
I appreciate the sensual pleasures of sharing physical intimacy with a lover. But this is very different from enjoying my own orgasm. I have come to realize that most women have nothing to miss from sex since they are unfamiliar with orgasm.
Not that long ago women were thought to be incapable of enjoying sexual pleasure. Now they are supposed to enjoy sexual pleasure as easily as men do. Women who think this are closing their eyes and their minds to the everyday realities of the world around them.
Such women presumably notice no difference whatsoever between the pleasure that they and their partners derive from sex. And yet a man’s drive to reach orgasm determines the pace and usually the end point of any heterosexual activity. A woman has little say in the matter. In any case, have these women never heard of rape, of prostitution, of a man’s use of pornography and masturbation?
I have tried to imagine what it must be like for a woman to approach sex without knowing what her own sexual arousal and orgasm feels like. Even so, I have to question how a woman cannot notice a man’s early morning erection. Do they never realize that almost any intimate physical contact causes a man to be eager for sex? There are no female equivalents to these.
I’m not suggesting that every man is a potential rapist, has paid for sex or that men are sex perverts. But these facts indicate how much more sexually motivated the average man is compared to the average woman. This is why women (but not men) can hug and kiss each other without anyone assuming that there is a sexual context to the relationship.
It is important to differentiate between what women say and what women do. Women often stand to gain by appealing to men. Professing an enthusiasm for sex is one way of doing this. This is hardly a modern female ploy: the sexually provocative female has existed since time began.
What is much more indicative of a woman’s enthusiasm for sex is what women actually do:
- Men masturbate regularly throughout their lives, but very few women ever masturbate to enjoy arousal and orgasm;
- Men enjoy their own arousal through pornography throughout their lives, but even young women buy much less erotica;
- Our culture abounds with images of a woman’s body, but women do not generate a demand for images of men’s bodies.
- Lap-dancing and pole-dancing bars are directed at men and are seldom (if ever) intended for women.
- Prostitutes offer men sex the world over, but women very rarely pay for sex.
It would be more useful to ask older women, who have less to prove, what they think of sex. I have tried talking to women of all ages about sex and the vast majority prefer to make no comment at all. In fact, very few women are shouting from the rooftops about the marvels of sex. Unfortunately the majority is intimidated by the sexual ego of the minority (one woman in million).
About the Author
Jane Thomas author of www.WaysWomenOrgasm.org
WaysWomenOrgasm.org provides information about female sexuality including details of how women orgasm with a partner. The discussion of female sexuality covers women’s orgasm techniques including their use of clitoral stimulation and sexual fantasies.
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